Angry Call

I got a call from Mom late last evening. She wanted to know why her two daughters were so focused on making sure she was declared bipolar. I tried to clarify the situation, but she told me to be quiet, she was going to have her say in the matter. So she proceeded for the next 4-5 min to tell me her entire story of her bipolar diagnosis (with which I am quite familiar), including her getting off medication and her "recovery". It is odd because she uses almost exactly the same wording every time she tells me this sequence of events. It's like she is playing a recorded conversation.

She was pretty angry, so I just let her talk. She said she's talked to 4 doctors now and none of them see any bipolar in her. So why are her two grown daughters out to get her? After a while I interrupted her, letting her know that I have absolutely no interest in having her declared bi-polar.

She wanted to know what I am trying to do. I told her that she gets very confused some days, and can't follow a conversation. Some days she if fine, and others she doesn't seem to be lucid. I want to know what is going on, because it might be treatable. In any case, we need to deal with it.

She said "Don't you think I want to take care of myself?" I said, "Yes, I do think you want to take care of yourself, and I do too. I'm not sure why we're arguing." She said, "I have to go." and hung up the phone.

I used to get very upset by these calls, because the point of them does not seem to be reaching resolution or solving a situation. After I told her that I don't want to declare her bipolar, that did not appear to be a relief to her, or to lead to any resolution. From her response, it appeared that she just wanted to vent her anger, and that I'd derailed her? I don't know what these calls are for, from her perspective. But since I stopped looking for them to restore peace in our relationship, they have not been as upsetting to me.