Mom wants the Visa Number

Mom called today -- I couldn't talk long because I was at lunch w/ friends, but she told me that she was VERY upset that she had tried to order meds from the online pharmacy but couldn't do it because she didn't know the Visa card number, and she was ANGRY because I didn't trust her with information about her own account.

I called her back later, and determined that she needed the last four numbers of the Visa to make the order, so I gave those to her. She told me that she was very hurt that I treated her like she was the daughter and I was the mother, and that I didn't trust her with money. She said she noticed that I had switched all of the money out of the account (the POA source account that the Social Security checks are deposited into.) She reminded me that even though she had gotten the checks and Visa card,, she had given her word that she wouldn't use them. She also told me again that whether I believed it or not, she still believes that she and Dad will soon receive a "huge blessing that will include a large sum of money," and that this blessing will trickle down to my family, too. I responded that it sounded like a great thing when it happens, but for the moment, we need to deal with the situation we have here.

MY COMMENTS: Mom seems to have no clue about why we (me, Suzanne and Jody) asked for me to take over managing the money. I'm not convinced she will ever understand/admit that there was a pattern of erratic/irrational behavior in terms of spending money that led us to that point. When she asks about taking over the money again herself, she gets angry when I remind her that the condition of that is that we will not "rescue" them when they get into a financial emergency again. The fact that she knows that I've transferred the incoming SS checks into the bill paying account which she has no access to makes me wonder whether she would be spending anything I left in there. I also have grave reservations about this revelation she claims to have had about the large financial blessing she expects to come to her. This smacks of "magical" thinking unconnected to reality. As long as it is just a fantasy, that's fine, but I think it's reasonable to believe that if she had access to any of her money for spending, she would indeed spending it, excusing it with the belief that other monies will certainly be coming in to cover whatever she had done. I don't enjoy being in this position with her, but I continue doing it because her past behavior provides a reasonable predictor that, should I return control of the money to her, she would indeed be on one of our porches within six months looking for a bailout.